True Survivors

Charlotte: There you are. On that contraption again. What are you doing now?

Sherri: Shh. Watching Survivor. I missed it last night. My daughter's orchestra had a concert.

Charlotte: Your daughter has an orchestra?

Sherri: It's not "her" orchestra. I meant the one she participates in. You're so literal. She plays violin.

Charlotte: Oh, yes. I heard her practicing. She's wonderful. Much better than that horrible noise I hear coming from your lilypod.

Sherri: (rolls eyes). iPod. iPod! Must we go over this every time?

Charlotte: But it's so loud! It's a wonder you haven't gone deaf as a toad.

Sherri: As a post. I believe the saying is "deaf as a post," Madame Literary Giant.

Charlotte: Deaf as Mrs. Reed was to Jane's cries for help when John Reed attacked her, again and again.

Sherri: Indeed. On that we can agree. I try to keep the volume down, but My Chemical Romance needs to be loud.

Charlotte: There you are with romance again.

Sherri: It's just a band name. You see? This is MCR.

Charlotte: (shudders). Ew! They look like zombies.

Sherri: I'm sure they're perfectly alive. And human.

Charlotte: You can't be too sure. Look at his pallor, the gaunt cheeks! He bleeds green goo as sure as I'm alive. (nods).

Sherri: Um, Charlotte? (shakes head). Never mind. Gerard Way is not a zombie. At least, I don't think he is. How would you know, anyway?

Charlotte: I have experience in such matters.

Sherri: You have? You've actually done first hand research?

Charlotte: No comment. (gasps). That woman there. (points to laptop screen playing video of last night's missed Survivor). She looks like a vampyre.

Sherri: (laughs). That's Jerri Manthey. Some people might agree with you. But she's in sunlight. If she were a vampyre, she wouldn't last in the sunlight, right? I think the other Survivors are safe.

Charlotte: Hm. Never underestimate the power of invention. They've probably come up with some newfangled survival mechanism. (paces, in thought.) Like a lotion to apply to the skin to block the sun's rays.

Sherri: (bites lip, dreads making revelation). Like, this perhaps? (Googles Sunscreen, shows Charlotte).

Charlotte: Heavens! They've found a way to thrive. Get your dagger. To the forest! We're going to need stakes. Lots and lots of stakes.

Sherri: (waves off Charlotte). Later. I have to finish watching Survivor. Hereos vs. Villains! Who will win, Charlotte? (looks around, sees Charlotte heading for the backyard). Never mind. I'll fill you in later.