Sherri: Charlotte, I'm a guest this week on author Molly Harper's Blog (Thursday March 25). I've had my hair done for the occasion. Want to see the before and after? Here's the before, on the left.

Charlotte: (yawn) What exactly do they "do" to it? Why not just pull it back in a bun so it's out of your way?

Sherri: Right. The 19th-century governess look is so in.

Charlotte: In what? What is it in? What you do go on about sometimes! Why did I agree to write with you, again?

Sherri: You didn't. Your work is in the public domain so I just-- Never mind. You agreed that we're perfect together, remember? Witty, charming...

Charlotte: Of course I am. But what do you bring to the table? (smirks).

Sherri: Hey, I'm the one who raised the bar for the next generation of monster classics. Ask Library Journal.

Charlotte: You wouldn't have managed the "enthusiastically recommended for all" without my involvement, and you know it.

Sherri: (bows) I concede.

Charlotte: So? What did they "do" to your hair? You never showed us.

Sherri: Here's the after. To the right.

Charlotte: (looks over). It's exactly the same. What do you mean?

Sherri: Not the same. It's shorter. Bouncier.

Charlotte: If you say so. What does it cost to have your hair done?

Sherri: (rolls eyes). You don't want to know.

Charlotte: Not a problem for 19th century governesses. (smoothes hair). A fool and her money are soon parted. (smiles knowingly).

Sherri: Absolutely. I'm also giving away a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble at Molly's blog on Thursday.

Charlotte: Hm. Perhaps I'll see you there.

Charlotte's Day Job

Sherri: Charlotte, look. Lapham's Quarterly has published a chart comparing famous authors' day jobs and salaries. You're included.

Charlotte: $1838? They seem to think I made quite a lot of money.

Sherri: Er, yes. I suppose. (wonders if she should mention it's an adjusted figure.)

Charlotte: It's rubbish. I don't care to look.

Sherri: I used to work at a bank before I started writing seriously. I would come home covered in ink because I couldn't resist playing with the rubber stamps and ink pads when business was slow.

Charlotte: (rolls eyes.) Always into mischief. Quite like some of the children I watched when I was a governess.

Academy Awards 2010

Sherri: Charlotte, Bradley Cooper was at the Oscars last night. Here he is, chatting with Ryan Reynolds.

Charlotte: Bradley who? I don't know who you mean. Who is this Oscar fellow?

Sherri: And you can check out some of the Oscar fashions here, here, and here. What do you think? Who was best dressed and who was worst?

Childhood Dreams

Sherri: Charlotte, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Charlotte: (blank stare).

Sherri: Charlotte?

Charlotte: (startles, averts gaze from Bradley Cooper's picture). Hm, pardon?

Sherri: Your childhood dreams? You must have had some. We're talking about them at The Whine Sisters today.

Charlotte: My childhood dream? To survive. Infant mortality was much higher in those days. It seemed a miracle to grow up at all.

Sherri: (rolls eyes). Yes, but--

Charlotte: I'm quite serious. Have you not remarked on Jane's experiences at Lowood? The poverty? The inadequate protection from the cold? The scanty portions of food? Awful food.

Sherri: The zombies...

Charlotte: (casts icy glare).

Sherri: All right, so no zombies.

Charlotte: We faced exactly the same conditions of Lowood at the Clergy Daughter's School at Cowan Bridge, Lancashire. I lost my two elder sisters, Maria and Elizabeth, to tuberculosis there before our father brought me home. It permanently affected my growth and development, I do believe, as it did Jane's.

Sherri: But Jane Slayre learned she had hidden strengths, the ability to fight and kill--

Charlotte: Jane Eyre learned to survive. Charlotte Bronte picked up her pen and created an imaginary kingdom with her surviving siblings: Emily, Anne, and Branwell. Have you not researched? Why does everyone seem to think I've written one book when I have a whole shelf of--

Sherri: Of course, I know about the Anglia Sagas. And the Green Dwarf. The Professor. Villette.

Charlotte: You do? (straightens up).

Sherri: Everyone does.

Charlotte: Everyone? (smiles).

Sherri: (nods) It's just that Jane Eyre has been considered your masterpiece. You have to admit that Jane's story has it all.

Charlotte: Adventure. Intrigue. Romance.

Sherri: Vampyres. Zombies. Werewolves.

Charlotte: Oh, but if one more person confuses my Jane with that insipid Jane Austen again, I'll--

Sherri: Charlotte, now, it's only because Jane Austen is so beloved a literary figure, as is your fictional Jane Eyre, and you're writing at similar times...

Charlotte: Off with your head!

Sherri: Ah, now, that's Lewis Carroll. Alice in Wonderland. The Tim Burton, Johnny Depp movie is opening this weekend. Would you like to come and see it with me?

Charlotte: You expect me to see a film when there are books to read?

Dr. Seuss... Now with Vampires!

I'm kidding! I don't think the Seuss fans want to worry about supernatural mayhem invading their happy rhymes. They're a little young for zombies, after all.

But it is Theodor Geisel's (Dr. Seuss's) birthday. I grew up loving Seuss rhymes, like How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and I have enjoyed sharing them with my own children (Hop on Pop, over and over again), and one day (far from now), maybe grandkids, who knows.

Dr. Seuss is beloved everywhere, but it's especially interesting to live in an area rich with Seuss atmosphere. Theodor Seuss Geisel (March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) grew up not far from where I live, on Springfield's Mulberry Street (It Happened on Mulberry Street). One can drive over Mount Tom and get the sense of being the Grinch on his mighty sleigh ride into Whoville, especially in winter. Driving from Holyoke to Easthampton over Mountain Road in winter snow feels about as risky as being Max the dog driving the Grinch's sleigh. Fun times. My town borders Forest Park, once supervised by Theodor Geisel, which hosts a Suess-inspired Christmas light parade (Bright Nights). There's also a New Year's Day Balloon Parade, and a sculpture garden in Springfield dedicated to Seuss and his delightful characters. If you're ever in Springfield (maybe to visit the Basketball Hall of Fame), check it out. Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss! Thanks for the memories.