People's Sexiest Man Alive

Bradley Cooper! Charlotte agrees wholeheartedly. She still sees him as the perfect St. John Rivers for the film version of Jane Slayre.

Who do you think is the sexiest man alive?

Glee's principal: Jane Slayre Reader?

According to Bronte Blog (one of Charlotte's and my favorite websites):

Another high school, albeit fictional, is the one in Glee. LA Dance Examiner posts a recap of the latest episode of the series:

It all begins with Principal Figgins (Iqbal Theba) informing Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) that wearing goth isn't going to be allowed. Why? He's afraid of vampires. Do you think Figgins has read "Jane Eyre"? Plenty of goth, but no vampires. (Ian Ono and Jana Monji)

Well, he might have read Jane Slayre.

Indeed, Bronte Blog, he might have. :)

Jane Slayre in People!

This week's People magazine:

Jane Slayre on Page 61:

Sherri: Charlotte, I'm a guest this week on author Molly Harper's Blog (Thursday March 25). I've had my hair done for the occasion. Want to see the before and after? Here's the before, on the left.

Charlotte: (yawn) What exactly do they "do" to it? Why not just pull it back in a bun so it's out of your way?

Sherri: Right. The 19th-century governess look is so in.

Charlotte: In what? What is it in? What you do go on about sometimes! Why did I agree to write with you, again?

Sherri: You didn't. Your work is in the public domain so I just-- Never mind. You agreed that we're perfect together, remember? Witty, charming...

Charlotte: Of course I am. But what do you bring to the table? (smirks).

Sherri: Hey, I'm the one who raised the bar for the next generation of monster classics. Ask Library Journal.

Charlotte: You wouldn't have managed the "enthusiastically recommended for all" without my involvement, and you know it.

Sherri: (bows) I concede.

Charlotte: So? What did they "do" to your hair? You never showed us.

Sherri: Here's the after. To the right.

Charlotte: (looks over). It's exactly the same. What do you mean?

Sherri: Not the same. It's shorter. Bouncier.

Charlotte: If you say so. What does it cost to have your hair done?

Sherri: (rolls eyes). You don't want to know.

Charlotte: Not a problem for 19th century governesses. (smoothes hair). A fool and her money are soon parted. (smiles knowingly).

Sherri: Absolutely. I'm also giving away a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble at Molly's blog on Thursday.

Charlotte: Hm. Perhaps I'll see you there.

Academy Awards 2010

Sherri: Charlotte, Bradley Cooper was at the Oscars last night. Here he is, chatting with Ryan Reynolds.

Charlotte: Bradley who? I don't know who you mean. Who is this Oscar fellow?

Sherri: And you can check out some of the Oscar fashions here, here, and here. What do you think? Who was best dressed and who was worst?

Childhood Dreams

Sherri: Charlotte, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Charlotte: (blank stare).

Sherri: Charlotte?

Charlotte: (startles, averts gaze from Bradley Cooper's picture). Hm, pardon?

Sherri: Your childhood dreams? You must have had some. We're talking about them at The Whine Sisters today.

Charlotte: My childhood dream? To survive. Infant mortality was much higher in those days. It seemed a miracle to grow up at all.

Sherri: (rolls eyes). Yes, but--

Charlotte: I'm quite serious. Have you not remarked on Jane's experiences at Lowood? The poverty? The inadequate protection from the cold? The scanty portions of food? Awful food.

Sherri: The zombies...

Charlotte: (casts icy glare).

Sherri: All right, so no zombies.

Charlotte: We faced exactly the same conditions of Lowood at the Clergy Daughter's School at Cowan Bridge, Lancashire. I lost my two elder sisters, Maria and Elizabeth, to tuberculosis there before our father brought me home. It permanently affected my growth and development, I do believe, as it did Jane's.

Sherri: But Jane Slayre learned she had hidden strengths, the ability to fight and kill--

Charlotte: Jane Eyre learned to survive. Charlotte Bronte picked up her pen and created an imaginary kingdom with her surviving siblings: Emily, Anne, and Branwell. Have you not researched? Why does everyone seem to think I've written one book when I have a whole shelf of--

Sherri: Of course, I know about the Anglia Sagas. And the Green Dwarf. The Professor. Villette.

Charlotte: You do? (straightens up).

Sherri: Everyone does.

Charlotte: Everyone? (smiles).

Sherri: (nods) It's just that Jane Eyre has been considered your masterpiece. You have to admit that Jane's story has it all.

Charlotte: Adventure. Intrigue. Romance.

Sherri: Vampyres. Zombies. Werewolves.

Charlotte: Oh, but if one more person confuses my Jane with that insipid Jane Austen again, I'll--

Sherri: Charlotte, now, it's only because Jane Austen is so beloved a literary figure, as is your fictional Jane Eyre, and you're writing at similar times...

Charlotte: Off with your head!

Sherri: Ah, now, that's Lewis Carroll. Alice in Wonderland. The Tim Burton, Johnny Depp movie is opening this weekend. Would you like to come and see it with me?

Charlotte: You expect me to see a film when there are books to read?

Zombies! Oh my!

Charlotte: Ack! It's Abbot! Where did you find her? She is the spitting image of Jane Slayre's Miss Abbot. I would know her anywhere.

Sherri: Well, you should. You created her.

Charlotte: You're the one who suggested she be a zombie.

Sherri: I thought you didn't want to give me any credit.

Charlotte: (shrugs). You might have some good ideas. From time to time. But where did you find her?

Sherri: That's not Abbot, Charlotte. It's Madonna.

Charlotte: The Madonna?

Sherri: Probably not the one you're thinking. Madonna Ciccone. 80s icon? Celebrated pop star? Michigander turned Brit?

Charlotte: Oh, one of your friends from Michigan?

Sherri: (shakes head). No, I only lived in Michigan(Canton) for a few years. And not while Ms. Madge was there, as far as I know.

Charlotte: Madge? I thought you said she was Madonna?

Sherri: (sighs) It's a nickname. You know, like Rochester tends to call Jane "Janet."

Charlotte: So you and Madge are friends, then?

Sherri: No, I've never met her. She's a celebrity. I think the paparazzi made it up. Or maybe she is Madge to friends. I have no idea.

Charlotte: It was so much easier in the old days, before Internet and Paparazzi. But, if she's famous, why hasn't anyone saved her?

Sherri: Saved her?

Charlotte: She's a zombie, isn't she? The sunken cheeks, the pallor? Where are all the slayers? Someone should save her from her mortal bounds and send her soul on to peace.

Sherri: She's not a zombie. It's just a rather unfortunate picture.

Charlotte: Hm. I'll take your word for it. Speaking of pictures, have you any more of that Bradley Cooper fellow?

Sherri: Aha! I knew you liked him.

Charlotte: Ahem. No. It's simply for a character study. I was thinking of writing some more about St. John's adventures in India.

Sherri: Really? Sounds like fun. Can I help?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentines were a big deal in Victorian England.

The actual valentine cards-- not flowers, gifts, or chocolates-- were exchanged and cherished. They were handmade and highly sentimental affairs, elaborately trimmed in ribbon, lace, feathers, flowers, even glass or metal bits. They became so elaborate, in fact, that a commercial industry emerged around them, with some making and selling their designs.

This led to eventual commercial printing and mass-production, though the embellishments remained a key feature, with some so thick with fluff that they wouldn't fit in any sort of envelope. By the 1870s, Valentines came in presentation boxes, and some had mechanical workings like levers or dials to make figures dance, or birds flutter wings. Some unfolded like fans.

The words inside were as important as the design, often effusive and lyrical unabashed pleas for affection. Always sentimental to an extreme. With the onset of WWI, the art of the elaborate valentine died out in favor of simpler designs.

I wonder what sort of valentine cards Charlotte made, sent, or received? She's still off whittling stakes, so I will have to ask her later. :)

For more Valentine's Day fun, check out http://www.history.com/content/valentine. If you're not a fan of Valentine's Day, I recommend curling up with a good book until it's over. Perhaps To Hell with Love?

What did you get or give for Valentine's Day? Your most favorite Valentine's Day? Or do you prefer to avoid it?

It's All About the Romance...

(Sherri and Charlotte engage in one of many imaginary conversations.)

Charlotte: About the romance? For you, perhaps. It is really all about one woman's journey. You always get so carried away with the romance.

Sherri: I like romance. What's wrong with love? I get tingly when I think about Mr. Rochester and Jane alone in that arbor. Poor Jane took so long to catch on to his intentions.

Charlotte: You're giving away plot points!

Sherri: Um, Charlotte? I think they know.

Charlotte: They don't know about the vampyres creeping up on them and how Jane has to-- oh. Right. That didn't make it through edits in the original.

Sherri: Exactly. People will get to read that scene in entirety for the first time in April.

Charlotte: April! So many months away. Back to my point. It's not about the romance. That was only one leg of Jane's very long journey to becoming her own woman. Independent. Strong. Self-reliant...

Sherri: And very much in love with Rochester. You were independent, and you were in love. You know how it works. So tell us more about your handsome professor.

Charlotte: I don't know what you mean.

Sherri: (raises brow) You know. The married one. What really happened with him? Did you have an affair? Enquiring minds want to know.

Charlotte: No comment. (looks down, smooths skirts).

Sherri: Fine. Well, I can't help thinking about what might have happened if Jane had stayed with St. John Rivers.

Charlotte: She would never have survived the heat and hardships of India.

Sherri: Are you kidding? Jane? Jane's tough! She survived some major hardships. Starvation. The elements. Being raised with vampyres. What's a little heat next to slaying demons? Jane could live through anything.

Charlotte: I suppose I can't argue with that premise.

Sherri: Besides, St. John was hot. Wasn't he?

Charlotte: India. India is hot.

Sherri: But St. John... purrrr. I imagine he looks a lot like Bradley Cooper.

Charlotte: Who?

Sherri: Brad Cooper? Blond, blue eyes... have a look.

Charlotte: I prefer Mr. Rochester.

Sherri: Yes, I know. Rochester's not bad, either. I'm thinking Clive Owen? Gerard Butler? Joaquin Phoenix (without the crazy beard, though it helps to envision him as... oh right, never mind.)

Charlotte: (rolls eyes) Go read your gossip sites. Imagine how much you would be improving your mind if you weren't always, as you call it, "surfing the web." Oh, pardon. His eyes really are blue, aren't they?

Sherri: Bradley Cooper's? Aha, you did notice.

Charlotte: No comment.

(To be continued).

Victorian Christmas

Charlotte Bronte's Christmas celebrations were probably comfortable but not lavish affairs, though many new Christmas traditions were introduced in the UK during Charlotte's time with the reign of Queen Victoria.

Christmas trees became popular. Father Christmas became a celebrated figure. Christmas crackers added livelihood to Christmas dinner, which was probably a Christmas goose or turkey for Charlotte. In Jane Slayre's time with the vampyre Reeds, the holiday guests doubled as the meal-- now that's household economy. And of course, who didn't look forward to Christmas pudding, and finding the silver sixpence and thimble for luck? (If you were Jane Slayre, you needed it :))

Time for New Author Photos!

Oh-oh. I hate posing for the camera. But it must be done. Gallery needs a new author photo for JANE SLAYRE . Charlotte obviously won't be joining me in this, unfortunately. Misery loves company.

So I have been warming up with Apple Photo Booth. What do you think? Hair straight or curly?

Gone Hunting

Hunting zombies, that is. I'm mid-revisions on JANE SLAYRE, finding creative new ways to save the world from zombies, vampyres, and werewolves. Awooooo! This is too much fun.